August 24, 2009
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Well, I'm in Dallas for the week, and I'm not all that thrilled about it.
I don't know why I just don't like being here. Ha! That's a lie, I do know why I don't like being here.
Dallas has many negative connotations for me. One in particular represents a change that has affected my life.
In 2006 the technology department went thru a huge restructuring which unified all technology departments within the orgnization into one. I got lost in the shuffle, and quite frankly, I'm just too tired and over it to start the uphill climb all over again. I know I probably should, but I'm just out of oomph. Does anyone know where I can get some ooph? A nice dose of it? Intravenously, so it'll kick in faster?
The organization is divided geographically into Affiliates. Each Affiliate has a group of states, each has its own purse, each had its own IT. Since the reorg, it's one big department for the entire orginzation. It has had some benefits; it has had many pitfalls. I suppose 10yrs from now, it'll all be good. I hope 10yrs from now I've won the lottery and have retired.
Since the process, I feel lost. I don't feel like I belong anymore. This used to feel like a family, and I looked forward to coming to work every day. I enjoyed my job and was tickled pink that I got paid to do what I did. I am on my 2nd position/job since the reorg; and while I find myself having fun doing my job, I still feel like I just don't fit. I'm lost. It's no longer a warm familiar feeling. I no longer look forward to coming in to work every day. On Mondays, I find myself counting the days for 4pm on Friday to get here.
I know it's not the job. I (think I) know the culprit . . . but I cannot change it. It is not withing my realm or reach to change it. I must grin and bear it.
We often joke in the organization "Oh, you don't like your job? Just wait a year, or two, it'll change". We're an organization that is constantly changing. So, I'll wait. I'll whine in the mean time, but I'll wait. And . . . I'll make the best of it while I whine and wait.
Comments (1)
Have some cheese with your whine
It's so tough to find a job that you really love doing,.. makes you wonder why they can't just leave well enough alone, doesn't it ? Since change is a constant, maybe the next change will make the organization feel like it once did for you. Hope springs eternal...
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