Well, I’m in Dallas for the week, and I’m not all that thrilled about it.

I don’t know why I just don’t like being here.  Ha!  That’s a lie, I do know why I don’t like being here.

Dallas has many negative connotations for me.  One in particular represents a change that has affected my life. 

In 2006 the technology department went thru a huge restructuring which unified all technology departments within the orgnization into one.  I got lost in the shuffle, and quite frankly, I’m just too tired and over it to start the uphill climb all over again.  I know I probably should, but I’m just out of oomph.  Does anyone know where I can get some ooph?  A nice dose of it?  Intravenously, so it’ll kick in faster?

The organization is divided geographically into Affiliates.  Each Affiliate has a group of states, each has its own purse, each had its own IT.  Since the reorg, it’s one big department for the entire orginzation.  It has had some benefits; it has had many pitfalls.  I suppose 10yrs from now, it’ll all be good.  I hope 10yrs from now I’ve won the lottery and have retired.

Since the process, I feel lost.  I don’t feel like I belong anymore.  This used to feel like a family, and I looked forward to coming to work every day.  I enjoyed my job and was tickled pink that I got paid to do what I did.  I am on my 2nd position/job since the reorg; and while I find myself having fun doing my job, I still feel like I just don’t fit.  I’m lost.  It’s no longer a warm familiar feeling.  I no longer look forward to coming in to work every day.  On Mondays, I find myself counting the days for 4pm on Friday to get here. 

I know it’s not the job.  I (think I) know the culprit . . . but I cannot change it.  It is not withing my realm or reach to change it.  I must grin and bear it.

We often joke in the organization “Oh, you don’t like your job?  Just wait a year, or two, it’ll change”.  We’re an organization that is constantly changing.  So, I’ll wait.  I’ll whine in the mean time, but I’ll wait.  And . . . I’ll make the best of it while I whine and wait.

 

I took mom to her first (her PCP) follow-up since the pace maker implant.  She was so cute when I picked her up, she had applied her lipstick and blush; since she has some movement restrictions, she is in housecoat (the girls are free! — I know, TMI!) and is selfconscious about her appearance, I guess wearing lipstick and blush helped her feel less self conscious.

Her blood pressure is good, doc drew blood and will let mom know the results later.

Next appointment is with the electrophysiologist cardiologist (or something like that), he is the dude who implanted the pace maker in mom.  And, next week is with the cardiologist who will take her case henceforth.

 

So . . . the trip was cut short and here are a few of pics of the drive to/thru Yosemite National . . . I hope you enjoy’m as much as I did (before all hell broke lose)

 A few shots of San Francisco
Aug 08

 Streets of San Francisco

 

   

    

  

 

The hearts were painted by local celebrities and placed around SF then auctioned, with the proceeds benefiting The American Heart Association.

 

   

 

  

 

 

Alcatraz . . . all tours were sold out . . . I hear they sell out way in advance

Buildings

  

 

This one was used in MIB

  

 

Love the detail

  

 

Look closely . . . beds, sofas, clocks hanging on the outside of the building

  

 

Hearst Building

 

 

Fire escapes . . . the wrought ironwork impressed me . . . Pop was a welder with the talent to create such intricate work

    

 

San Francisco’s Transamerica Pyramid

  

 

  

 

 

 

Pier 39

 

  

  

   

  

 

 

Bird poo

 

GPS go-carts . . . yet another way to take a tour of the city

Punch Buggy!

Check it out . . . a city tour on Segway

 

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The drive across California and crossing Yosimeti National Park
Aug 09
(Happy Birthday to Mom!)

It was oh so cool seeing these wind mills . . . I’ve seen’m on TV for years, and I got to see them in person WooHoo!

    

 

Drive across Cali heading to Yosemite National Park

  

 

And, finally made it to YNP

  

 

At first, the drive thru just wasn’t impressive . . . I remembered thinking that Mt. Renier’s drive was much more breath taking

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Stopped by a trail for JBen to do his daily run in his new red with shiny shoe-lace Disco running shoes

  

 

And then the scenery started to get interesting

 

  

  

 

And it just took my breath away!

   

 

 

     

   

  

  

 

Ok, I just don’t get how a tree can and will grow out of the middle of a hugemoungous rock!

   

 

  

    

  

  

  

 

Pictures just don’t do it justice . . . it’s so amazingly beautiful

    

 

 

Mom came home yesterday and I’ve stayed w/her all along.  I see where my sister gets her busy-body/fussyness from . . . there’s no stopping this woman.  I’ll take it as a good thing. 

She made her bed before I got the chance to do it for her, she washed her dishes after her lunch . . . she’s doing lots of little things like that for herself.  She is even slowly starting to feel more steady and leaving the walker or “the wheels” by the door when she enters her bedroom.

She is making the effort to do for herself what she can, w/out hurting herself.  Good mom!  However, for now a good chunk of her days will be spent in front of the boob tube.  I think maybe tomorrow we’ll spend the day at my house instead, this way I can get my shit together, unpack, do laundry, etc. while she sits and relaxes.

Oh dear, looks like I’m going to have to cook the next few days!  I’m gonna pump her full of protein  . . . it’ll help w/the recovery/healing.  Ah, always a bright side!

 

 

Well, we were told that she’s going home today . . . but if you have had the misfortune of being hospitalized, or have had a loved one hospitalized, you know that they’ll tell you at 9am that you’re going home, but it won’t be until sometime around or after 3pm that you actually get to go home.  It is like reverse hotel check-in and check-out time.

They drew blood this morning and are waiting for the labwork to come back.  If all is good, she’s going home today.

Needless to say, different doctors and nurses have been parading thru the room; some I’ve never seen before, who claim to be on her case.  Each will check-off and authorize her discharge.

She has been out of bed since around 9am and sitting on that not so comfortable chair and whining about her flat butt being sore, so she is now sitting w/her legs down and not reclined, to shift the butt pressure around a bit.  I also asked the nurse to walk her out the hallway for a bit because she feels unsteady and a bit groggy when she stands up.  She did OK.

Doctors (I’m not sure which one or two or whichever) are Rx’ing home health care, physical therapy and occupational help to help her the first few days, or possibly first week.  I will be there with her until Monday (since I’m still technically on vacation – originally scheduled to have returned from LV tonight around 11pm) but back to work on Monday and will feel better if someone stops by to check in on her thru the day.

She cannot bathe for a week (P-U), only cat-baths; no driving for two weeks; no raising her arm/hand above her shoulder/head for six weeks.  So if she has to pee, she has to shout . . . if she knows the answer to the question, she has to shout it out . . . no raising her hand.

 

She didn’t like that I took her picture . . . and told her “Yeah baby!  And I’m posting it to the Internet.”   . . . and then told her, “hey mom, you’ve got a messload of folks throughout the world praying for you, loving folks that we know and  so many we don’t know or haven’t met.” She smiled gently, nodded her head, and said a quiet “Gracias”.

 

 

Mom had the pace maker implanted last night in the 8 o’clock hour.  She’ll get a temporary ID to use in case of travel or emergency in the future, and in about 6 weeks she’ll get a permanent.  This is good cuz on the Jamaica trip she beeped and was stopped and swiped with the metal detector wand, and you know she got teased by the whole family for beeping. 

I got to see mom yesterday around 11:30am and spent the rest of the day w/her until the icky night nurse kicked me out at 10:30.  Some stupid-ass hospital policy about not letting a platoon of Cubans in an ICU room thru the wee hours of the night.

Visiting hours start at 9am .  I awoke around 7:07am and the stress and toils of everything going on had me wondering where the hell I was, I didn’t recognize my own room for a moment.  Once I got my bearings and got my crap together, went to mom’s and checked her voice messages, returned a call for her and went to the neighbor’s to let her know what is going on (she had called mom 2x concerned that she hadn’t seen her in a couple of days.  Now, my sistah tells me she received a call from mom’s other neighbor wondering what’s going on . . . the neighborhood is abuzz. 

I dreaded coming in . . . . it was the day after his implant that I could tell my grandfather had suffered a stroke . . . I feared the same.

After returning the calls and talking to the neighbor, taking out mom’s trash (today is pick-up day); I finally made it in around 9:45am and she was wide awake and sitting up on the recliner chair.  The icky nurse got her up and out of bed before 5:30am and she’s bee up all day.  She had her breakfast w/the hard as stone baby bagel and had a nice soup and 1/2 sandwich lunch. 

She sounds and looks good.  The cardio who implanted the pace maker has discharged her, the other cardiologist who administers meds and other stuff hasn’t discharged her yet.  He wants to keep her in for another day to stabilize her BP.  Mom’s BP is high (she routinely takes BP, Chol and Sugar meds).  Once they get the BP stable, they’ll probably discharge her.  So, I’ve been standing behind her shouting “Boo!” from time to time cuz I’d really like to keep her here one more night just to be sure she is getting proper attention.

 

Oh and get this . . . after the procedure, the cardio/surgeon came out to tell us that the procedure had gone well, everything was great, he was very pleased . . . oh, and is she clausterphobic?

When mom started coming out of her sleep, she started screaming and flailing her arms, they asked her if she’s Ok “yeah”, if she’s in any pain “no, I’m good” . . . they removed the face mask and she took a deep breath, sighed and thanked them.  She reached out and shook everyone’s hand in the OR and thanked them individually.

It turns out that mom was dreaming.  She had a vivid dream that a family member (doesn’t know which) had won the lottery and she was sorting out who to help financially.   The deal was that her dream wasn’t over, she wasn’t done sorting and she needed to finish her dream before the anesthesia would wear off and she could tell it was wearing off.  It was very important she got back to her dream.

She remembers screaming and shouting loudly, to the point that she came out w/a hoarse voice.

 

Oooh, just got the news, she’s being moved shortly to room 3010 and spending the night after all.  Yeeayy.

 

 

 

Just landed into Fort Lauderdale International . . . and I am smelly!!   I left LV at 10pm last night, landed in ATL at 4:30ish, departed ATL at 8am and just now got in!!  What a long night . . . but I did get some sleep on the flight from LV to Atlanta. 

The flight from Atlanta to FLL had me seated next to a sweet young Navy boy who is in town for three days to receive a Presidential Medal of something-or-other from the big O himself.  It turns out this Navy boy is very involved in several volunteer projects ranging from helping to clean Florida’s coast to Habitat for Humanity to giving of his time at pet shelters (since he is in the Navy, he can’t have a pet because he deploys for months at a time) . . . and he is only 28yrs old.  I was pretty impressed that such a young man would give so very much of his time to help others.  I’ll be sure to keep an eye out on the news for a blurp or mention of the ceremony. 

Unfortunately, we went separate ways when we deplaned . . . boy would I like to have introduced him to my niece.

 

I spoke with mom a few minutes ago; she sounds good and says the nurse was in just a few minutes ago and told her and Al (who has abuela duty today) that she’ll be transferred to JFK Med Ctr at 11am.  She feels well, just tired and achy from being in bed all this time.  It appears that the temporary pace maker is somehow hooked up via her leg so she can’t really get up much. She’s not liking being tethered like that.  It’s kinda funny cuz I remember when I was a kid hearing her comment about any “wild child” something to the affect of “I’d tie’m up by the leg to the bed and see if she/he’ll sneak out in the middle of the night”. . . and now she’s the one tied by her leg.  hH hehe ehehehe . . . and yes, I did tease her about it.

The niece is on her way to pick me up, she’ll be here right around 11 . . . . so when we’re nearing JFK Med Ctr (it’s on the way/drive home) I’ll call Al and determine whether I head straight to JFK MC or go home and shower off the travel/stink.

Mom seems to think that once she is transferred she’ll go immediately to surgery . . . I dunno about that . . . you know hospitals . . . it’s paper after paper after paper . . . so who knows!

 

It’s been a rough couple of days, I need to see my mama.

 

Thank you all for your prayers . . . it means the world to my family and me.

 

 

 

Sadly, I need to cut this trip short and rush on home to be w/my mama; she has been hospitalized w/a very weak heart beat and will probably get a pace maker.  I know there is nothing I can do.  I don’t intent on doing anything other than being with her, supporting her, letting her know everything’ll be OK even tho in my heart I am more scared than she is.

I called her last night to wish her a happy birthday, and that’s when I learned that she had been staying at my sister’s since Saturday because she wasn’t feeling well.  She had worked in the yard early Saturday morning and was drenched in sweat when she finally called it quits and went in to shower . . . and that’s when the dizziness started.

I asked several times why not take her into ER.  Dizzy spells are not to be taken lightly, after all, they’re warning signs of a stroke.

My sister was pretty convinced it was dehydration and/or sun stroke, cuz she had seen a show on PBS and the symptoms were exactly the same.  Thanks!

Mom sounded OK, just OK.  In her voice, I could tell she wasn’t well, she wasn’t her usual self.  I could feel fear, concern, and so many other feelings.  For her to have gone and stayed w/my sister, she has got to have felt very badly and must have been very scared.  I wish they would’ve taken her into ER that day and not have waited until after midnight last night.

Tests, tests and more tests . . . 

• odd, she has a UTI so they’re feeding her antibiotics for that
• CT scan came back OK
• EKG revealed a very weak heart beat
• angiogram showed no blockage
• basically, she is asymptomatic

Up to now, I know she is in Palms West’s ICU, and has a temporary pace maker.  My sister just doesn’t relay things all too well; I suppose it’s to be expected if she’s as nervous and scared as I am.  She has said several times that mom’ll be transferred to JFK Medical Center; to which we both cringe since they already killed my Hero and my grandfather.  I can’t stand the thought of them taking another of my loved ones.

I know a pace maker is pretty routine . . . but that was the beginning of the end for my grand father.  He went into JFK w/a broken foot/ankle.  One night, he complained of chest pains and an EKG revealed irregular heart beat.  He was taken in for an ablation and had a pace maker installed.

What they never tell you is that it is not uncommon for a clot to become dislodged and cause a stroke after such procedures.

I still remember that morning, when I walked into his room, and neither the nurse nor my aunt could wake him, and when they finally did, he clearly had aphasia.  None of the doctors or nurses wanted to listen to me, none wanted to consider the possibility that he had suffered a stroke.

He was dismissed and we took him home.  The following morning when I went to see him at my aunt’s house, I walked right by him and called 911 without saying “hi” or “good morning” to him, or anyone else in the house.  When the paramedics came in, the first question was “when did he have the stroke?”. 

I keep playing the whole thing in my mind, and the week that followed when he was in medical care.  He was scared and looked at me with pleading eyes to not leave  him.  I always stayed as late as I possibly could, until I was physically escorted out.

About halfway into the week, he stopped eating and taking any nutrition.  It’s like he made the decision to stop it all on his own.  He passed away several days afterwards.

I have received “that call” twice, in the early hours of the morning.  The first was for pop, when I got the call “I regret to inform you that your father passed away this morning at 6:45″ and the second was in the midnight or 1am hour letting me know that my grandfather had passed away a few minutes prior.  I AM NOT READY FOR A 3RD CALL, damnit!

Again, I know a pace maker installation is pretty much routine, but my past experience has me very leery and scared.

 

So, a 5 1/2 hr drive from Mammoth Lake, CA across and thru mountains, a couple of roadside pee stops and puking 2x before reaching Las Vegas . . . I’m sitting here at gate D50 waiting my 10pm flight that will connect in ATL and get me into FLL at 9:43am tomorrow morning.

 

 

 

 

    

 

 

 

  

 

 

 

 

Lots of kite and surfers in the SFBay

 

 

 

The view from beneath the bridge

I think these are my favotires

    

 

We spent the night in Florence, OR . . . a quaint little town that we enjoyed much.

Dinner at an Italian restaurant left a bit to be desired . . . I DON’T LIKE CILANTRO . . . we ordered pizza, and it had cilantro, blech

Cilantro lovers out there . . . you would’ve loved it . . . I can’t stand the taste, it tastes like Dial soap and it is a lingering taste, yuk!

    

 

 

We got off of the beaten path and on to a more beaten up path that led us around some cool landscape and rocks full of sea lions

They are loud!!

 

 

Got to play a little more w/the panorama setting on the camera

 

 

 

 

 

Next stop, San Francisco!

(I’m in SF already, just a bit late updating)

 

I landed in Sea/Tac around 2:20am . . . we crashed and hit the road after lunch heading to Portland, Oregon.

We visited with Sherri, Steve and Gaby, and had dinner with them.  I loved catching up with them, time with the Fishers is always time well spent.

Steve is an avid kite surfer and had good suggestions for JBen who is a wind surfer.

Tuesday we headed to Hood River where JBen got to do some windsurfing.

Along the way, all this driving, we crossed lots of cool bridges and tunnels.

   

             

 

Wednesday we kept on our way along Oregon’s coast.  If you ever get the chance to drive it, do it.  The scenery is breath taking.